I've been reading a book about quitting that I wanted to share with you all. It's called Hooked - But Not Helpless, by Patricia Allison. A close friend of mine used the book alone when she quit smoking ten years ago, and I'm finding it extremely helpful.
The key concept in the book is that while smoking is certainly a pernicious addiction, it is also a choice. For this reason, she recommends something many of us would consider unorthodox at best: she actually suggests keeping a pack of cigarettes near us at all times while we are trying to quit. How crazy is that?
And yet, it's helping me. I have that pack in front of me right now. When I start to get edgy and my addict's brain starts looping on "I wish I could have a cigarette..." I am forced to remind myself that "Oh, right, I have a pack right here. I could choose to smoke if I want to." And then I can think about the choice I really want to make, since I can't both smoke and have the life I want for myself.
I also appreciate Allison's advice on dealing with cravings, which is again not the usual, "Quick, distract yourself!" directive. Instead, she says, Deal with it. Just learn to be okay with being uncomfortable for a little while. Remind yourself that this is the price you are paying for your ticket out of addiction. Remind yourself that the negative feelings will pass.
Friends, to my ears, that advice is so good and so sound and so counter to our culture's run-and-fix-it-or-at-least-stuff-it-down approach to feeling bad, it almost makes me feel un-American just thinking about it! Sit with a bad feeling and deal with it! Truly a novel idea.
What do you think?
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6 comments:
Ellie, bless your heart. I will be devoting an entire post to this on my blog with credit to you for bringing up this concept.
I dont know that I could really sit with a pack in front of me. I think my inner bad girl would give in and make me smoke one.
I for some reasons the last few days have really wanted to smoke. Its been a real struggle not to find someone with a cig so I could have it.
I am trying my best to stay away from those who smoke so I dont have to deal with the urge of wanting one!
Ellie, you rock!
I've been mentioning things like this to people here and there (on forums) before, and I got almost scolded by how crazy things like that sound. The choice stuff.
I'm glad you're very confident you chose to quit once and for all. In fact, it's one of the best demonstrations of your complete resolve, I personally think, when you are not afraid to run away from your addiction but to face it and choose to stop it.
It's like people are afraid to look at smoking, have packs around them, etc. But if you decide firmly that you chose to not smoke ever again, why would you be afraid that you may light up one day? :)
Except for the part about keeping the pack near you, the overall concept seems very much in line with what's taught in 12-Step programs. It's key to make choices that are good for us, to stay in an uncomfortable feeling and deal with it by just recognizing it for what it is, with the knowledge that eventually it WILL pass, and to not try to stuff and/or run from pain.
This IS indeed antithetical to our culture at large, but it's what works in overcoming any addiction. Thanks for putting it out there.
I kindof see her point. Well, about the choice. It is a choice. But the more I think about choice, the more I'm thinking is there really a choice if you're addicted to something? I tried to make the choice many, many times before taking Chantix, but I couldn't do it. Not enough will in the world.
I will 100% agree with the just deal with it mentality. It seems like smoking was a way to run from some very real stuff with my life. And we could still run, but we have a choice not to - to accept bad feelings and just go with it. I write a lot about the bad feelings that are left after the smokes are gone over at my blog http://www.quitcoping.com . Hope you're dealing with your bad feelings. Why are we so uncomfortable about them?
Want to do a link exchange? I'm adding you to mine right now. :)
Tracee
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